Today

So I was determined to do something differently today, and I did!  It's not over yet, so barring any late-night binges, I'm feeling pretty good.

I went to the school and got all my books. 

I went to the library and got a library card, and three books.  I read one of them in the fresh air and sunshine (50 degrees on January 10! Love it). 

I did go to McDonalds.  Oops.  But I ate a healthy breakfast and I'm planning on working out tonight.  I'm hoping to eat a healthy dinner.  Or none at all.  Trust me, I can skip a few meals.

The book I read is called 703.  It's about a woman who lost over 500 pounds on her own - no special diet, no workout regime.  She didn't leave her house for over two years, and then found an online political forum and made friends; the activity and relationships she built helped her back to life.  Slowly the weight started coming off as she spent less and less time bingeing.  Then she started her own business cleaning houses and the resulting activity helped with the rest. 

The book is all about her internal journey and she really doesn't go into what she ate or how she changed her eating habits.  I was kind of hoping for the ultimate diet secrets or at least tips about healthy substitutes.  But the only food-related things she mentioned was eating toast instead of bagels, and that she still indulged in whatever foods she wanted, just knowing that it would have to be a rare occurrence. 

There was the requisite horror and sobering stories about how bad she got.  But the one thing that stuck out to me was when she said that she learned to live HER life.  She says this in the context of how different she felt from a bunch of other speakers at an Oprah event; while listening to them talk about their uber-strict diets and excercise habits.  This touched me because it reminded me of my statement yesterday about becoming the person in my head.  I'm learning to live MY life. 

Right now life kinda sucks.  Chris and I usually have a million little things to tell each other when we speak throughout the day, but for the last week or so I have felt a little desperation creeping in when he calls.  I have nothing to report.  If I were him, I would be contemptuous of my current sitting-around doing nothing lifestyle.  But true to form, when I told him I felt this way today, he said "Things will turn around soon." And he's right.  I'm really looking forward to the challenges that school will provide - both mentally and physically getting up and moving around more.  I tend to turn into a socially awkward hermit pretty easily and for the last few days, have even been avoiding calls from friends.  Not like me! 

Also, my mom and Dave are out of town in Florida for the week.  I have this silly homesick feeling for my parents a lot of times, and this is one of them.  I didn't see them for about a week before they left and I'm feeling sort of guilty about it, though Mom didn't need me to or expect me to come by.  Guess I'm just in need of a Mommy hug. 

All in all, not a bad day!