Y'all, I made it through yesterday and it really wasn't that bad! 
This Chantix stuff is a miracle.  But I also think I was really just done being a smoker.  I do sort of miss smoking a cig - that delicious rush you feel when you light it.  But the truth is I haven't really felt that in a long time.  My throat always hurts, I'm always congested - it's way past cute. 
And when clients pissed me off yesterday I just took a puff of my fake ciggie.  Amazing! 
I did overeat (what else is new, right) BUT I had an epiphany.

All this time I've been thinking about weight loss as an unsurmountable task... I mean I have more than 100 pounds to lose.  YIKES, right?!  But I did the math yesterday.  I have to lose 3 pounds a week for the next seven months to be at my goal-ish weight for our Carribbean trip.  TOTALLY doable!  I mean, a challenge, yes, but doable. 

My challenge for this week is to get moving more than I was, and to eat less - just ever so slightly less than before.  I started yesterday with not eating the whole little tiny one-serving box of cereal.

I've read so many things about how your body has to be sure you're serious before it will let go of the weight.  And also I need to get comfortable being a little uncomfortable - being a little hungry.  I need to prove to myself that I can do that.  Because I know that as soon as I hit that burning-more-calories -than-I'm-taking-in that the weight will start to MELT off.  My body wasn't made to be this size.  I'm uncomfortable all the time and frankly, worried about having loose skin when all is said and done.  I need to talk to a professional about that.  Maybe I should start putting cream on now.. Or wearing one of those waist nipper things?  I keep seeing those damn infomercials. 

I also joined in with my company's Biggest Loser challenge.  We weigh ourselves once a week and report the numbers.  This will make me accountable and give me a goal. 

I am really excited.  I feel like something kind of snapped in my mind; though I've had many, MANY, MANNNNYYY "oh my God, I have to get my shit together" moments, I've taken more action this week than any other, and I have to hang on to that.  I took my green coffee beans this morning, and only had a tiny handful of plain Cheerios. 

Affirmations:  not every week will be a success.  I can indulge one day per week.  And it's a marathon, not a sprint!